Of all the emotions we experience, love is probably the strongest, most passionate drive of all of them. So, when love fails, you may feel like there is nothing left to live for. But don't lose heart. You can win back your lost love -- and I'm going to share five proven strategies to get your lover back.
The first and most important step is to be honest -- both with yourself, and with each other. Whatever the cause of the breakup was, that problem will still exist unless you address it and get rid of it. Maybe in your case housekeeping was a frequent argument. If you are a slob and your ex is a neat freak, your relationship is going to be stressed -- especially for the one who feels he's doing all of the work. He will feel used, Bosun whistle abused and taken advantage of. If you jump right back into the relationship without addressing this issues -- as minor as it may seem to you -- you are doomed to fail again.
Finances are another area common area of strain in a relationship. In fact, counselors will tell you that the number one reason couples split up is over money. So, if you are dreaming about a romantic come back and you are a shopaholic and he's a penny pincher, you are going to have to do some work before you can win back your lost love.
The second strategy is being dependable. If the breakup has already happened, then concentrate -- for the moment -- on being a dependable ex. When he needs you, be there -- even though you don't have a "responsibility" to be there anymore. If she's moving, offer to help! If he's looking for a job and needs someone to type his resume, type it!
Third, be encouraging. It's difficult to get used to being without your cheering section and that shoulder to cry on when you need it. One of the huge benefits of being in a committed relationship is the emotional support you get from each other. This is also one of the things people miss the most after a break up. So, to win back your lost love, be there to offer encouragement and to cheer him up if he's discouraged. If it's time for his annual review at work, send him an email just before the meeting. If she's singing a solo at church, surprise her by showing up to give her moral support.
Fourth, listen when your ex calls. Usually even after you go through a breakup, you continue to have some communication afterwards. Maybe you still have friends in common, go to some of the same places and events, or just run into each other around town. Unfortunately, a lot of times the "communication" becomes constant fighting and bickering. No matter how much you feel you're right and he's wrong, don't let your conversations degenerate into fights. Try the Stephen Covey method. Really listen to what your ex is telling you. Repeat it back to him in your own words to make sure you truly understand. Don't try to solve his problem, just listen. You might actually get a clue on how to win him back! Encourage him to share his problems with you by listening and being understanding. Let him express his concerns with life. Be a sounding board.
Fifth, don't sit on the sidelines. Life is not a spectator sport! You have to get out on the field and play for all you're worth! If you insist on sitting on the sidelines, it's likely that someone else is going to become the quarterback of your ex-lover's life. Unless you're ready to move on, don't give up on the relationship yet. If there's a chance to work things out, if they are going to get better, it's up to you to make it happen.
If you're serious about wanting to win back lost love, then taken this five-part action guide to heart. Don't just wait for things to change. Be proactive. Make change happen.
The most important thing is to really care about your ex. If you do, your actions will show him or her that you do. So what if your ex dates other people in the meantime. If you are the right one, you will get back together. It is possible to win back lost love. Now get busy and do it!
Being alone can be difficult for many people. Even if you've just gone through a breakup, it's not over until it's over! Whether you want to get your ex back, or you're trying to keep a relationship from breaking up, you'll find helpful articles and resources at The Luv Station. Visit our website at http://theluvstation.com now!
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